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No craigslist 'missed connections' are a
A post I wrote for the SA forums.
Iím sure everybody knows about craigslist missed connections. Basically itís where people go to contact somebody that they met but didnít have the courage to ask out on a date. Iíve been reading them for a few years, and Iím starting to get a little frustrated. No matter how hard I try, nobody makes one about me. I know all the little things people do to get mentioned and Iíve taken to incorporating a bunch of these methods into my daily routines.

I strike up interesting conversations with cute girls in check out lines. Every time I try to mention some sort of unique fact that will allow them to easily ďidentifyĒ me on craigslist. Iíd hate to have a girl post about me, only to lose it to the other hundreds of posts mentioning the same generic details. I always wear a shirt with a simple pattern so itís easily remembered, and I try to bring up what Iím wearing at least once so the girl wont forget to pay attention. Not in a totally boneheaded forceful way, but subtly just so that I know sheíll have something to post. I keep our conversations short but witty, and try to make them at least smile. If I can get them to leak something about school, Iíll mention an interesting sounding class like ďEastern Religion Themes in ShakespeareĒ to pique their interest. If they mention something about work Iíll tell them how I work at a day care. Thereís pretty much nothing they can say that I donít have a tried and true missed connection answer for. All of these things Iíve seen mentioned before.

I also try to frequent each of my local ďnatural foodsĒ stores at least once a week. Iíll pretend to be looking at the soup or bread until I see a familiar cashier, then Iíll stroll up. I am always very friendly and try to remember things that theyíve told me from our last chat. Last week I was talking with this particular girl who I wouldnít say is exactly ďcuteĒ but seems lonely enough to maybe post about me. She mentioned she was going to a local concert so today when I saw her when I was buying some cabbage and a bag of walnuts (I buy things that donít have a bar code so she has to type up all the numbers by hand, this way our talks last longer. Also I think sheíll be more apt to notice what type of food Iím eating and notice that Iím healthy and mostly in shape.) I mentioned that I looked for her at the concert but didnít see her. I didnít actually go but I thought that maybe if she thought that we liked the same music sheíd feel that there was something between us.

I started going to the gym after I noticed a bunch of messages popping up about the one down the street from me. Iíd sit in the Jacuzzi area and use all of my grocery store line moves on any girl that was there without a big mean looking guy. I figure that girls at a gym are probably trying to get people to notice them so maybe Iíd have better luck. Unfortunately you canít sit in the Jacuzzi for too long, so I have to do it in small chunks in between swimming some laps and doing some push ups on the side where people hang their towels. I think a big part of my failure from the gym is all the damn gym employees that walk around giving you suspicious looks after youíve spent 3 hours alternating between the hot tub and push ups. I tried to hide in the sauna for a bit but I found myself trying to think of witty banter and zoning out, which is dangerous because you find yourself inadvertently staring at a naked man. Which also angers me a bit because Iíve never even got a m4m missed connection about my sauna chats. Iím not gay but if I can at least get a guy to post a message Iíll feel some motivation to continue, but my true goal is to get a girl to post one.

My schoolís library was another place I thought that I might have some luck. I often see messages from one student to another saying how they saw somebody studying in the library, or reading a book, etc. So Iíd go to the third floor where all the academic journals are stored and get a few and then go sit near a girl who looks alone. I make sure to position the book bindings towards the girl so that she can for sure read them. Then I get out a highlighter and go through the book just highlighting random stuff but it looks like Iím reading it and making important notes. I try not to talk to these girls because Iíve found that it makes other people mad because sometimes I lose track of my volume when Iím really on a roll.

Iíd say that this quest occupies roughly 75% of my daily activities. I get other stuff done like working out and grocery shopping, so it isnít a total waste, but I feel like thereís something that Iím not doing right. So many of the messages are about total boring losers, I donít understand why I havenít managed to get even ONE yet. The things I posted in this thread are just a few of the strategies Iíve taken, as theyíve seem to have returned the best results for other people on craigslist. But Iíve done things like riding the bus for hours on end talking to the female passengers, standing in line at the DMV only to ďforgetĒ a form and have to go to the back, and signing up for fourteen 1 unit supplemental classes for subjects I wasnít even enrolled in (you can drop them after the 4th week and you get a refund). All of these seemed to be mostly a waste of time though, so I just stick to the ďtried and trueĒ methods now.

I know that Iím good looking enough because I can get a date if I ask a girl, but if I do Iím never motivated to follow through because I want the girl to chase after me. If I go to a bar and a chick seems into me, Iíll just excuse myself to the bathroom and sneak out and go home, and then check missed connections the next morning. So far, absolutely nothing. I think Iíve done more than enough to deserve some sort of mention now, and I donít understand what is keeping these girls from posting messages about me. Is there some sort of secret that Iím missing? Or are all these posts really by lonely nerds posting about themselves? Iíve thought about doing that, to sort of prime the pump, but I donít want any girls that might be thinking about posting to see it and then think that Iím already interested in somebody else. Iím smart, funny, and good looking, and I pretty much throw myself out there, I donít know what is wrong, so please somebody give me advice on what my next step should be. I feel like Iím really close to achieving this goal if I just add that one missing piece.
©2003-2008 Brian B. Griffiths